Filling in all of the empty spaces

Pretty is as pretty does.


Finally! I think you just explained the wearing of yoga pants in public to me. And while I’ve threatened to do the same, maybe I probably shouldn’t.

“[M]aybe because you’re unattractive? I always wonder why this option never occurs to men… [T]hey study what turns women on, then try to embody it. If we could take some of the misogyny out of the whole thing I’m convinced the art of pickup could actually be good for society.” This.

Yeah, dudes don’t get it. Even as logically and painfully obvious as it is.

My exposure to the pickup culture has only been through Neil Strauss’s books — he is such a good writer — and I can recognize the unfortunate and ignorant misogyny in that culture. That said, in my experience as a single 50-something dating man in the American Midwest flyover countryside, dressing — and behaving — to be attractive to women from/for a woman’s perspective rather than my own 1) has led to better and greater interactions with women and yet 2) leave the men who witness this erstwhile practice of mine baffled and/or uncomfortable. (A marketing professional by day, I am a performing musician: that mitigates the male uncomfortableness to a certain degree — since I must have “a reason” for dressing provocatively and acting the way I do — but there is always a comment or two of humorous criticism laced with envy.)

Do not think this is my only take away from your article. Far from it. But as a 50-something dating man in the American Midwest flyover countryside who regularly considers the quid pro quo of wearing yoga pants in public, this is what I am moved to share with you.

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